Dirty Love & Filthy Lies Read online

  Dirty Love & Filthy Lies

  Book One in the Dirty Love Series

  By: C. Shell

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  About the Author

  Also by C. Shell

  Weak Link Preview

  Copyright

  Dirty Love & Filthy Lies

  (Formally Escape)

  C. Shell

  Copyright C. Shell 2019

  Smashwords Edition

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. IF you are reading this book and didn't purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to the author and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance between persons living and dead, establishments, events, or location is entirely coincidental.

  Cover image copyright

  Chapter One

  Standing in the doorway, my legs shake something fierce as I stare at my boyfriend's naked ass. I’ve always enjoyed his backside, it is truly one of his finer assets, then again, I’ve never watched it work as he pumps himself into a stranger.

  Out of all the places to cheat on me, did it have to be in our bed? I spent weeks searching for those specific bamboo sheets. My mind is a splintered mess as I contemplate my next move.

  Fight or flight?

  I’ve never been good at impromptu decisions. I’m more of the sit-down and think it out kind of girl. Charts and figures are wonderful things that should never be taken for granted.

  I lean against the door frame as I shift my weight. Watching them together makes my chest hurt. It’s as if someone is squeezing the very life out of me. Tears flow unchecked down my face as I let the hurt and betrayal eat away at me.

  I should say something, but what?

  Watching Conner’s visible lust over someone else has me feeling numb inside. Lying between two creamy thighs, my fiancé licks and nibbles the girls heaving breasts. Dirty blonde hair that reaches down to her waist and a curvy body, I can see what attracted him to her. Unlike my modest self, his fuck buddy is unabashedly loud. I visibly cringe with her every moan, her high-pitched voice chanting his name as she begs for more.

  “Connor baby. You know how I like it. Fuck me harder.” I roll my eyes at her lack of originality. It’s like listening to every cheap porn movie ever made.

  My bedroom has seen better days. Everything they’ve touched is tainted. The comforter we picked out together lays discarded on the floor while the sheets, now damp, are wrapped around their sweaty limbs. Just like my relationship, they too are now ruined.

  Time is getting away from me. Conner isn’t known for his stamina, so a decision needs to be made. Fight or flight? I push back a rush of tears, wondering for the umpteenth time how we got to this moment.

  It was only a few weeks ago we were sitting in the living room planning our future together. Conner was insistent that we tie the knot right after graduation. He wanted to start house shopping as soon as possible. I thought we were rushing things, but he seemed more than happy to make our love official.

  Conner has always been a playboy. It’s why I was hesitant to date him. He charmed me, doted on me, made me believe that he had changed. I fell for him hook, line, and sinker. Conner isn’t just the school football star, he’s smart and thanks to his parent’s high pedigree, his future as a lawyer in a top firm is his for the taking the moment he graduates.

  Pull it together, Emma! Stop watching them screw like bunnies and do something!

  Fighting the bile in the back of my throat, I take a step into the room and stand with my arms crossed over my chest. “Honey, I'm home.” I worry my lip between my teeth as I watch them still at the sound of my voice.

  The room goes deathly quiet.

  Conner’s head snaps up, and our eyes lock. I take a little satisfaction as all the color drains from his handsome face. I search his gaze for a semblance of remorse, but only find shock. His hips stop rocking and as he pulls back, I get an eyeful of the pretty girl beneath him. Her tits are too perky and perfectly round. There’s no way those things are real.

  “Emma,” Conner breathes. “I thought you were at the library.”

  My teeth grind together as anger courses through me. “Plans change. Sorry to interrupt your fun, but I need to get past you and pack a bag.”

  Conner scrambles to get up, his feet tripping over themselves as he searches the floor for his clothing. Under normal circumstances, I would find his shiny white ass darting around the room funny. There is nothing comical about wasting four years of my life over a guy who sticks his dick in a warm hole the moment my back is turned.

  “Emma, baby,” Conner calls out, catching my attention. “This isn’t what it looks like.” He looks over at me, his eyes slowly traveling over my face before taking me all in. “I swear I’ve never done this before. I was drunk and made a mistake.”

  “Shut up, Conner,” I hiss. “I don’t want to hear your sorry excuses.”

  Reaching down, I grab a hold of the comforter and throw it over the girl cowering on the bed. I glower down at her, wondering why she’s still here. She hasn’t said a peep which I find super annoying. I feel as if she should be begging for mercy or helping me kick Conner’s ass. Something more productive. Laying on my bed while covered in hickeys from my boyfriend is not helping to curb my temper.

  Before I can berate her for being a home wrecker, Conner moves in front of me and starts blabbering. Again. “No excuses,” he promises. “I had a bad day and stopped in at a bar down the street. I’ve been super stressed with upcoming exams and needed to unwind. One drink led to three, and everything after that is a bit of a blur. I promise it won’t happen again. She meant nothing.”

  Conner takes a step forward as if to pull me into a hug. I stumble back out of his reach. I don’t want his cheating hands on me. Just the thought of where his fingers have been is enough to make me want to puke. “Back the fuck off,” I warn. “You don’t have the right to touch me. Hands off.”

  “Come on, babe. Don’t be dramatic. You know how much I love you.” Conner continues to apologize, doing his best to justify his stupid behavior, but I’ve already stopped listening. Actions speak louder than words and his prove that he’s nothing but a cheating asshole.

  I feel numb.

  And stupid, which is messed up because I’m not the one who screwed around with a complete stranger. And in our bed, of all places. My eyes land on his fuck buddy, and my brow rises.

  “Why are you still here?” I ask her.

  “Oh…Um.” She looks to Conner for guidance, but his eyes are still on me. Looks like Goldilocks is on her own. That’s what you get for climbing into someone else’s bed. “I should get dressed,” she mumbles. Grabbing my robe off the floor, she drapes it over her naked body before scuttling over to the bathroom.

  “I’m burning that
damn robe,” I mutter. “First my favorite sheets and now my best robe. At this rate, I won’t have anything worth taking with me.”

  With fire in my veins, I collect enough clothes to get me through the next few days. I have every intention of moving out, but that takes time and right now I just want to get away from this shitshow. The door behind me creaks open and out pops the woman of the hour. I could scream and go all crazy on her, but what’s the point? My beef isn’t with her, it’s with the dipshit who promised me a lifetime of happiness.

  I take a breath to steady my nerves. “I’m assuming you can see yourself out?” I ask her.

  “Yeah. I’m good.” She tries once more to catch Conner’s gaze, but he’s acting as if she doesn’t exist. It’s a little late for that. With a pout and a huff, Goldilocks leaves the room and a moment later I hear the telling click of the front door.

  I continue packing, using an old school backpack to hold my stuff. Conner leans against the door frame, watching me a petulant frown. I might want to rip his balls off, but even I can’t deny how handsome he is. It was lust at first sight when I met him in Mrs. Dove’s English class during high school. Conner was a football God.

  Long hours at the gym have gifted him with a toned body and chiseled features. Add to that sandy tousled hair, clear emerald green eyes, and a pretty face and you get one hell of a package. Conner could get any girl he wanted, and he did, over and over again. I don’t think there was a cheerleader left on the squad he hadn’t fucked. He told me I was his one exception, and I believed him.

  Stupid me, fell for every lie that came out of his kissable lips.

  “Emma, we need to talk about this.” His slightly annoyed tone only adds steel to my spine. “You can’t throw away everything we’ve built over a moment of weakness. I already apologized and told you it wouldn’t happen again. What more do you want?”

  You would think we were fighting over something as silly as forgetting to wash the toothpaste out of the sink. Brushing away silent tears, I grab another bag from my closet and start filling it with shoes. I’m seconds away from breaking down. I dig deep and steel my spine. I’ve got to hold it together. I refuse to give Conner the satisfaction of seeing how much his infidelity hurts.

  “I want nothing from you. Never have. You’ve done enough,” I grit. I move into our tiny bathroom and retrieve my toiletries before giving the entire apartment a once over. Conner is right on my heels, following me from room to room. He doesn’t touch me, but the heat from his proximity is enough to keep me on the move.

  My feet come to a stop in front of Leon and my heart aches for a whole new reason. I don’t want to leave him behind, but I’m not equipped to transport him tonight. Leon is my goldfish. I don’t have a clue where the name came from or why I chose it. When I gazed into his big bubble eyes, the name popped into my head. I don’t know any other Leon’s, but I think the name fits him.

  Conner surprised me with Leon after our first week of moving in together. Reaching for the fish flakes, I sprinkle some of his food into the water and watch with watery eyes as he bobs for them with puckered lips. When I come back for the rest of my things, he’s leaving with me. No way in hell will I give up my only pet. Growing up, we couldn’t afford to feed another mouth, so pets weren’t an option. I might have to get a smaller tank, but I’ll make it work.

  While watching Leon eat his dinner, Conner sneaks up behind me and slips his hands around my waist. My stomach twists. I should pull away. I should also knee him in the balls, but I don’t do either.

  Knowing this will be the last time we’re together, I take a final moment to enjoy the feel of his body against mine. We’ve been together so long, it’s hard to imagine my life without him in it. When he proposed and slipped his grandmother’s ring on my finger, I truly believed we were destined for great things. A heavy sigh slips through my lips. Our fairy tale isn’t meant to be. Naked Goldilocks is proof of that.

  Turning in his arms, I look up into his gorgeous eyes and accept his remorseful expression for what it is. Despite the circumstances, I don’t want us to end things as enemies. If Conner is going to act like this the moment my back is turned than he did me a favor by showing his cards now before we made things permanent by walking down the aisle.

  With shaky hands and a heavy heart, I slip off my engagement ring and place it on the side table right next to Leon’s fish tank. The clink of the diamond hitting the wood sounds deafening in the quiet room.

  “Fuck, Emma! What are you doing? Put that back on.” Conner grabs the ring and shoves it to my chest. “Stop acting dramatic. We’re not ending our relationship over some bitch, I picked-up in a dive bar.”

  Conner’s hands smack into the wall beside my head, and I flinch. Leaning in close, his breath fans across my face. Anger radiates off him in waves along with the stench of booze on his breath. “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry? I’m human. I made a mistake. You can’t dismantle our entire relationship over this. Our wedding is a set.”

  I stand straighter as I fight to keep my rage in check. This is the alcohol talking. I seriously hate this side of Conner. He’s never been able to handle hard booze well. A belligerent Conner is the equivalent to eating a plate full of glass. Both can shred you from the inside out.

  Our eyes lock, and my neck heats. Is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time? I watch as his tongue darts out and licks his bottom lip. Resting a hand on my hip, he moves closer, and my breath comes out in a whoosh. His intent is clear as a bell. He’s going to kiss me. My feet are rooted to the floor, but my mind is running a mile a minute.

  Conner has a way of making me weak, and the last thing I want is his lips on me right after he’s been with someone else. Just the thought of his tongue in my mouth after fucking that girl makes my stomach churn. I wait until the very last moment before contact, then jerk my head to the side. His lips miss the mark and land messily on my cheek.

  A harsh breath leaves his chest as he sinks his body fully against mine. “You know you’re my girl,” he whispers. The pungent smell of sweat and sex coats me, and my stomach rolls with disgust. I slip a hand between us and push with all my might. He staggers back, and his cocky smirk turns bitter.

  “Stop playing hard to get.” His voice is as sharp as a whip and I flinch from the ferocity of it.

  Time to go.

  I slip around him and start for the door. “I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff in a few days,” I throw over my shoulder. Ducking down, I grab my bag and purse and continue toward the door, never once losing stride.

  “Emma,” he barks. “Get back here.”

  I run out of the apartment, taking the stairs two steps at a time. The cool night air slaps me in the face and I welcome the clarity it brings. Never in a million years have I imagine my night taking such a nasty turn.

  Keys? Where the hell are my keys?

  I set my bag down on the pavement next to my car and start rummaging through my purse in search of my damn car keys. It doesn’t matter how many trinkets I put on my key ring. I still lose them. I think my purse has a magic black hole in the bottom of it that gobbles up my most prized possessions. It takes me longer than I’d like, but I finally locate them get my car unlocked. Too bad I never noticed the shadow hovering beside me.

  “Holy shit,” I screech. I practically jump out of my skin, my heart beating a fast tempo. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

  Conner’s smile is the perfect portrait of the pain and anger he feels. He doesn’t try to touch me, but I can tell that he wants to. Instead of turning into the asshole I expect, he surprises me by reaching around and opening my car door for me. Without hesitation, I throw my things across the seat before sliding in. When he doesn’t shut the door right away, I turn and give him my full attention.

  I hate that we’ve come to these crossroads, but if I’m being honest, I think it was meant to happen. Conner and I are opposites in every way. It’s worked for us mostly, but every goo
d thing must eventually come to an end. Right?

  We’re opposites in every way. Conner is the life of the party and I’m the classic introvert. My life has been lived through books and stories and Conner’s is centered around friends and being the school star. His family is rich and powerful, while mine can’t rub two nickels together. I’m the girl from the wrong side of the tracks that caught the right boys’ attention without even trying.

  Despite all that, Conner is the one person who cracked my shell. He made me feel pretty, loved, and cherished. I will always be grateful to him for that. Feeling my throat grow raw with emotion, I grip the wheel and the old worn leather squeaks under the pressure. “I need to leave.”

  “I get that I fucked up tonight, but you’ve got to know that she means nothing to me. I don’t even remember the bitch’s name.”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I seriously want to dick punch him right now. He let a no-named slut in our bed, and I’m supposed to just forgive and forget because he’s sorry? Not happening.

  Conner shakes his head. “No. I expect your wrath, but I also believe that we can get through this. We have to.” When he glances down at me, I see the determination in his gaze. “I can’t lose you, baby. Our future is written in stone.” The weight of his words feels like an anvil to the chest. Heavy and suffocating.

  I feel sick to my stomach. “Conner,” I begin, but he stops me from speaking by placing a finger on my lips.

  “Take a few days to relax and cool off. When you get back, we’ll go out for a nice dinner and work this all out.”

  “You’re not listening to anything I’m saying.” My eyes lock with his, and my heart races. I don’t want to hurt him, which is fucked up considering I just caught him getting his dick wet. “We’re done. Over. Terminated. Finished. Finite.” My shoulders drop from exhaustion. My voice is steady considering how badly I’m shaking.

  I think I’m going to throw up.

  I go to shut the door, but Conner’s hand comes out and blocks it. Leaning down, his face lowers until its inches from mine. He doesn’t raise his voice, not that he has to. Power exudes from him, knocking the breath from my lungs. “This wedding is happening, babe. You need to wrap your pretty head around that. After graduation, you will become Mrs. Conner Thompson.”