Dirty Love & Filthy Lies Read online

  Before shutting the door, Ashton leans into my space, and my mind scrambles. Our eyes lock and anticipation licks hot and heavy under my skin. The surrounding air thickens, and I wonder if he will kiss me. I wouldn’t mind it if he did. God, I wish he would.

  The corner of Ashton’s mouth curves up into a half-grin. “I enjoyed being with you today. It was fun. When can I see you again?”

  I lift an eyebrow, surprised by his forwardness. There is something undeniably sexy about a man that is confident enough to openly express how he feels. I just met Ashton, and already he’s taking up most of my thoughts. I think I’m falling for him, which is absurd because I barely know him. He could be a serial killer or have a closet cat hoarder for all I know. I like cats, but I don’t think my fish would be too keen on me having one.

  Ashton is easy to be around. We click. There’s never any awkward silence when we’re together, he gets along with my friends, and the chemistry between us is off the charts which is saying a lot considering we haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet. There is an instant connection with us that terrifies the shit out of me.

  Determined not to let my emotions overrule my head, I shrug a shoulder and play it cool, acting as if my heart isn’t about to leap out of my chest. “Maybe next weekend. I’ve got a big test coming up that requires my full attention this week. Economics hasn’t come easy for me, and I can’t chance failing. My scholarship requires that I keep a high GPA.”

  “A full week,” he muses, shaking his head, “That will be tough. I was hoping you would join me for a motorcycle ride up to the coast with some of my buddies tomorrow, but I respect your reasons. I like a woman with a good head on her shoulders,” he says flashing me a smile that makes me instantly regret my answer. Of all the times for me to make a mature decision, why did it have to be now?

  Before I can think too hard on it, I place my hands on his firm chest, slide them up, and then curl them around his neck. The move brings us immensely closer. Dropping my voice to a soft, sultry whisper, I say, “In case I forget to tell you later. I had enjoyed today. And thanks for meeting my friends. They liked you.”

  He whispers right back at me. “I liked them too.” Ashton’s eyes darken with lust. Before I can process the movement, he’s pushed forward, and his lips are on mine.

  His mouth is soft and warm and upon my inhale, he takes advantage, sweeping his tongue inside and tasting me. My heart rate soars along with my need for more. It’s been so long since someone has kissed me like this. Passion and raw lust spur us on until we’re practically devouring each other. My hands fist his shirt, keeping him anchored to me as a throb starts deep inside of me.

  I should stop this, I think to myself, but my body isn’t listening.

  I kiss him harder, drinking him in as my life depends on it. Ashton makes a growling noise in the back of his throat that hums straight through me, making my blood sing. His fingers glide down my sides and when they reach my legs, they push them wide apart, giving him the space needed to step between them. I moan into my mouth, enjoying the hardened erection pressing against my achy core.

  The world around us disappears. All I can think about is how good the roughness of his five o’clock beard would feel between my thighs while his tongue does wicked things to my pussy. The images in my head are very clear. My hand releases his shirt and makes its way down south toward his belt when a loud hacking sound catches me off guard and ruins the moment.

  Pulling away from Ashton with a start, I glance over his shoulder to find an elderly couple standing behind him with a look of disgust on their faces. I haven’t felt this ashamed or embarrassed since I was five and my mother caught me playing doctor in the closet with our neighbors’ grandson.

  “We should probably get out of here before we get caught corrupting anyone else.”

  Ashton gives me a puzzling look before turning to see what’s caught my attention. A low chuckle escapes his kiss-swollen lips. He gives the couple a little wave, and they scuttle off shooting us dirty looks while loudly complaining about bad manners and loose morals.

  Turning back to me, Ashton taps his finger on the door. “Come on Cinderella,” he teases, helping me with my seatbelt. “Let’s get you back home before you turn into a pumpkin.”

  Shutting the car door, I watch through the tinted window as he runs around to his side of the Jeep. Drawing in a deep breath, I try helplessly to ground my nervous heart. I’m scared to death of screwing this up. I suck at dating. During high school, I concentrated on working to pay the bills and achieving good grades so I could get a ticket out of town the moment I graduated. I used boys to scratch an itch when needed. Then came Conner into the picture. He took charge and made my life easy. I didn’t have to think with him, I just followed his lead and let him make all the decisions.

  Obviously, that didn’t work out too well for me.

  Ashton and I are one hundred percent a bad idea. Either I’ll mess it up or Conner will keep meddling until the whole thing blows up in my face.

  We’re doomed.

  I steal one more unfettered glance at the man who’s been haunting my dreams and realize that I’m screwed because there is no way I’m walking away from Ashton. I couldn’t if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Not even a little bit.

  Ashton has sparked something in me I didn’t know existed. I’m determined to see where this goes. Call it research if you like. Hell, call it whatever you want, but understand that I’m doing this.

  Us.

  Him.

  All of it and then some.

  I’m going the full mile and seeing where this new road takes me. Maybe I’ll end up with a broken heart, or maybe I’ll decide he’s boring and not worth the gum on the bottom of my shoe.

  For once, I want to be selfish and do something for myself. And I plan to enjoy every minute of it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I drag myself through the next few weeks with tests, pop quizzes, and a project in economics that has me scratching my head with worry. I’m tired, my brain is fried, and my dirty laundry pile has grown so large I’m surprised it doesn’t have its own zip code. Despite my claim to take things slow, I’ve purposefully found every opportunity available to spend time with Ashton. Just the other night I invited him over for takeout Chinese food and a movie. Becca has been staying over at Patrick’s place, so I’ve had the dorm room all to myself.

  The food was good, the rom-com movie I chose was decent, and the make-out session we had after was epic. I learned something new about Ashton. The man is ticklish. I’m not talking about a little bit either. He’s like a full-size Tickle-me-Elmo. If you lightly stroke the underside of his arm with your nails, he’ll double over with uncontrollable laughter that ends with the cutest snort. Hearing it once wasn’t enough, I had to test the spot several times to get my fix.

  We’ve gotten into a groove of texting random facts about ourselves to each other. It’s a game of truth that allows us to get to know each other better. Most of the information I’ve learned about him is useless, such as his dislike for the color yellow and his gross habit of putting ketchup on everything, including steak and fish. Ketchup is not a food group. A fact I made clear to him when I refused to let him drench his rice with it.

  What I found interesting is that Ashton is fluent in four languages. I do well with just knowing one language. Ashton might not have grown up in a stellar school system, but he was smart and motivated. He self-taught himself the different languages with audiotapes he got from the local library.

  He’s also never been out of the country and unlike my clumsy self who cracked her head open climbing a tree when I was seven, Ashton’s never broken a bone. It’s kind of ridiculous how perfect he is. Except for the ketchup obsession. That is just gross.

  Anyone that perfect has got to be hiding something. It’s the only thing that makes sense. He probably eats his buggers for dessert, or maybe he has a sixth toe. Feet freak me out, so adding another digit to the mix would be a huge turnoff
.

  After getting all my classes up to date, I finally got around to talking with the college admittance department. It took some crocodile tears. But they’ve agreed to look at my sister’s file and talk to the review board on my behalf. We’ve passed all deadlines for the fall year, so this is huge.

  I don’t have enough good credit for a loan and my tutoring jobs won’t be enough to pay all the costs on my own. Because of my mom’s lack of financial security, they will consider letting my sister into their financial aid program. It’s not a done deal, but it’s something. A light at the end of the dark tunnel for sure.

  While I wait for the board’s answer, I’ve thought it best to attend a dinner party with Conner’s family and their obnoxiously wealthy friends this coming Friday. I would rather stick myself in the eye than spend an evening with my ex and his deplorable father, but I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

  Many of the firm members will be in attendance, so if I play nice for one evening, Conner’s dad has agreed to hold off on pulling Bella’s funding for two more weeks. It’s not a lot of time, but it should be enough for the review board to do their job. I haven’t told Ashton about my plans yet, but I will, as soon as I find the right way to do it. If there is such a thing.

  Tossing my book on the bed, I let out a frustrated groan. I’ve been cooped up in my room for too long. I’m feeling restless and my brain is tired. I don’t think I can cram any more facts into it without causing damage. For the last four days, I’ve lived off nothing but caffeine, sugar, and salty chips. I need substance.

  Becca places a hand on my arm, drawing me out of my thoughts. I glance over at her and smile. This is the first time Becca and I’ve been able to hang out since her parents came to visit. What was supposed to be a quick trip has turned into a long drawn out fiasco with dinners and lots of goat yoga.

  Her parent’s eccentric style has taken its toll on my friends. Turns out they came to visit with a motive and his name is Pacco. They met Pacco on a trip to the Amazon Rainforest last spring and Becca’s dad thought their friend would make a good husband for his little girl. If that isn’t weird then I don’t know what is. Patrick wasn’t amused and I can’t say I blame him. He and Becca fought and for the first time ever. I was worried they might break-up. Things around here have been tense and that’s never good.

  “What’s up?” I ask stretching out my legs. I need to invest in a new desk chair, this one I’m in now was bought at a local resale shop. I understand why someone wanted to get rid of it, it’s about as comfortable as getting a colonoscopy.

  “I need to take a break to recharge. If I order a pizza, will you help me eat it?”

  My stomach growls at the thought of food. I think back to the last time I ate and cringe. “Where are you ordering it from?”

  “Dino’s Pizzeria?” she hedges. “The delivery time might be a little long, but I know how much you like their double pepperoni with olives pizza.”

  I rub my belly just thinking about all that greasy goodness. “That sounds so good.” I give up trying to find a comfortable position and stand instead. Only I would own a chair that makes your body feel fifty years older than it is.

  Pulling out my phone, I check the time, pleased to see that it’s not late. “You know what would make it even better?”

  Her brows dance across her hairline. “Do tell.”

  “I think we should get our tired asses up and go to Dino’s and eat the pizza there. I can’t stand being cooped up any longer and fresh out of the oven pizza is always better than a Luke-warm delivered one.”

  “You’ve got a point,” she hums. “These walls are closing in on me. I think my butt is becoming one with the furniture. If you drive, I’ll splurge and pay for dessert. Something sweet and sinful that will put at least ten pounds on our hips.”

  “Deal,” I tell her, happily. I scoop up my keys, then look down at my leggings and tattered shirt and shrug. “You get me as is. I’m not getting dressed up for you, but I will put on some deodorant.” Besides bathroom breaks, I haven’t left our room all day. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair. That’s got to count for something. “Let’s get out of here before we change our minds.”

  After freshening up, we hop into my car and the tension that had been gathering in my back releases like an overfilled balloon. Fresh air and new scenery are a game-changer. Dino’s Pizzeria is a quick five-minute drive from the dorm and after doing a few circles around the crowded parking lot, I finally nab a space near the entrance. The aroma of spices, pepperoni, and fresh dough welcome us as we make our way to the counter.

  I let Becca do the honors of ordering food while I grab us some drinks and search for an empty table. Dino’s is a big hit with college kids and families alike because of their colorful décor, fluorescent lights, and decent pricing. It’s always packed, and tonight is no exception. I comb the room with Becca’s cola in one hand and my sweet tea in the other until I spot an empty booth in the back near the bathrooms.

  I shift in my seat, not liking how the cheap pleather material sticks to my legs. It reminds me of the sticky flooring in my mom’s kitchen. No matter how many times we cleaned the floors, our shoes always stuck to it as if we were walking in thick molasses. Becca slips into the seat across from me and lips dipped into a frown. “I wasn’t expecting it to be this busy on a school night. I hope they don’t take too long to cook our food. I’m starving.”

  I shake my head, dismissing her words. “Won’t happen,” I assure her. “Eddie from my physics class is a cook here. He’s a boss in the kitchen. Won some kind of award last year at a local fair for a dessert he made. He won’t let us down.”

  Ignoring the hunger pains that pinch my sides, I let my eyes wander around the room, focusing every so often on the people seated around us. I hope we don’t run into anyone I know. I’m not a vain person, but I at least like to look somewhat presentable when in public, and right now I’m sporting the worst version of myself. With my hair knotted on the top of my head, not a stitch of makeup covering the dark circles under my eyes, and my clothes wrinkled beyond repair, I’m a hot mess. At least I don’t stink, that is one thing I have going for me.

  Eddie doesn’t let us down and before my hunger pains get the best of me, our food arrives hot out of the oven. The scent of garlic and parmesan assault my senses, and my stomach growls in delight. Without delay we dig in, stuffing our faces and enjoying every greasy bite.

  “This is pure heaven,” I moan, shoving another mouthwatering piece of garlic bread in my mouth. “I don’t care how many pounds this adds to my ass, it’s worth it.”

  Like a couple who’s been together for ages, we move in a choreographed dance as Becca snags the discarded crust off my plate that I don’t eat while I take the extra cheese off hers. Silly girl thinks it will make her break out even as she inhales sugary soda like it’s going out of style.

  “Has the food from here always been this good or are we just that hungry?” She asks.

  A shadow looms over the table and steals my witty retort. With my cheeks puffed out and my mouth full of food, I glance up and curse silently to myself. The desire for the ground to open up and swallow me whole consumes me. Standing in all his beautiful glory with untamable hair and kissable lips is no other than Ashton. I would call him devastatingly sexy and go on about how fuckable he looks, but the asshole isn’t alone.

  I swallow down the large chunk of food in my mouth like a Neanderthal. This is not my night. Garlic sauce drips from my lips as I stare up at him. I do my darndest to wipe it away without bringing more attention to what a hot mess I am.

  I have the worst luck. Only I would go out looking like something that came out of a cow’s ass and run into the man I’ve been obsessing over while he’s on a date with someone who is not me. And she’s beautiful. This is equivalent to kicking a puppy while it’s already down. Doing my best act unperturbed in front of our uninvited audience, I lean back in my seat and give what I hope to be a pleasant smile. />
  “Hi, Ashton.” My gaze swings to the beautiful woman standing next to him and my hands drop under the table, clenching into tight fists. “And friend of Ashton’s,” I add on with a fake smile that is so big my cheeks hurt. I’ve never had to urge to yank someone’s hair out as much as I do right now. And it doesn’t help that her hair is pretty and silky, like a Barbie I once had when I was little.

  I instantly, and for no reason of her own, hate this woman.

  I wipe the grease off my hands and pray there isn’t any extra food stuck to my face. “What a surprise seeing you here. I didn’t know you liked Dino’s.”

  My words are for him, but my eyes won’t stray from the woman beside him. Calling her a girl wouldn’t do her justice. The mystery woman is tall with legs that go on for miles, a pretty heart-shaped face with bright green eyes and a head of glossy blue-black hair that cascades in long waves down to an ass that looks like you could bounce a quarter off it.

  I’m trying not to gawk, but she’s got this exotic quality about her that makes her standout. If we were clothes, I would be a plain white tee shirt and she would be a tie-dyed masterpiece. She’s uniquely beautiful, in a way I could never be.

  I’m not a green-eyed monster, which makes the tightness in my chest an anomaly. I absently rub at the spot, wishing for the pain to go away. It doesn’t work. Not even a little. The longer I study the two of them together, the worse it gets. They look good together. He’s the glorified tattoo God, and she’s a rare Barbie everyone wants but can’t have.